So you didn’t get a seat at the table, what now? Do you forcefully get yourself to stay within that circle or will you graciously walk away? I’m aware this can be a difficult question to answer so I’ll leave you to do so or take it with you after reading this blog. In the meantime, what I really want to ask you before I talk about the steps you can take in cutting the cord from toxic attachments is, “what do you know about freedom?”
I am asking this because the freedom we are taught when growing up differs completely from the freedom I want to guide you towards today. These examples of our childhood thoughts of “freedom” include, waiting till you are in university or when you turn 18 years old so you can FINALLY get to do whatever you want and how you want it because you are now a so-called “ADULT”. True or False? Irrespective of whether I am right or wrong, it’s an undeniable fact that these are the streams of thoughts that flood our minds towards the freedom we find in growing up.
Now let me talk to you about attaining true freedom — which I will wholeheartedly write about with no form of exaggeration. This is the freedom that comes from releasing what no longer serves you and greatly also, from detachment. I felt the need to elaborate this feeling of freedom before giving you the steps in cutting cords from toxic attachments.
Step 1
Identify whether the attachment in question is toxic: There are times when you find yourself stuck in a situation and overtime you become used to the pain and so you keep yourself in there. To help you identify whether a situation is toxic, here are some signs to look out for:
- Unexplained tiredness and anxiety when you have to deal with them
- Defensiveness and manipulating tactics and them often acting like they are the victim all the time
- Addictive behaviours — excessive drug abuse, violence
- Giving you “compliments” that are backhanded as though they are intimidated by you
- Your stomach drops (literally) because they are controlling and sometimes their behaviour towards you can lead to shock. By that I mean, the “I can’t believe you will do this to me”.
Step 2
Make a conscious note to self: For this step, writing down what you wish you are able to say to this person and/or this particular group can help. I urge you to not hold back in what you write and make sure to include what frustrates you in the connection. To help you write, you can ask yourself this question based on the feeling you identified, for example:
- Why I’m I or do I feel anxious around this person?
- What is my “stomach dropping” and this feeling of shock trying to teach me?
There’s a reason these emotions/feelings in these situations trigger and leave a bad taste in your mouth so to speak. So you have to listen to these and strive to make a change so you don’t feel that way anymore. Keep in mind that certain events resurface in your life to clear and not so you can repeat. So this is a chance for you to choose which way to go.
Step 3
Visualisation: We are going to do a detachment exercise here and the aim of this is to help you have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing.
- Think of this individual/group of people and visualise that what keeps you together is a cord/rope. Sit with that image in your mind’s eyefor a couple of minutes until your thought is fully on the cord that keeps you together.
- Clearly you want the toxic energy to go away from you so I need you to imagine holding a pair of scissors in your hand. This is where you “skidi-kat-kat” this cord and as you cut it, imagine your cord recoiling back to you. See this process as reclaiming your strength back whilst their end goes back to them i.e. their thoughts and opinions no longer hold a place in your energy field and that you are now liberated from their toxic energy.
For the #itsamidaexperience, here’s a more spiritual approach to cord cutting that anyone can do.
- Once you have written the note as explained in Step 2, light a candle
- Cleanse your space with incense or smudge with sage/palo santo etc…
- Call upon your God/Source or the Divine
- Sit with your intention as in Step 3 and light up the note to burn it using the light of the candle you lit. As it burns, I say something like this which you could use too:
- “By the pure and pristine power of Light that I AM, I hereby sever all that no longer serves my highest good. I release myself from these connections and bind on all planes of existence. All severed connections will transform and come back to me as ALL that is 100% light for my highest good and to fill me with vitality and creativity. I trust it to be done and SO IT IS, I THANK YOU [Your God/Source]”
- Visualise this as your form of release from the toxic situation and believe that it is done. Repeat the above affirmation and sit to envision that IT IS DONE!
I understand that some connections are exhausting and will take time to clear from your life. These steps are guides for you to take an active role in getting rid of what doesn’t serve you so that you can create space for the new to access your freedom. The more you do this kind of clearing in your life, the freer you become, the more inner peace and the sense of oneness and happiness you will also feel.
These are worthy gifts to yourself that simply can’t be bought by anyone and I truly hope you are able to attain this inner peace from letting go of certain things in your life.
Before you go, I want you to take this with you and apply it to whatever your situation may be. And, when you walk away to seek your freedom, make your own damn table in your own damn house.
Ya dig?
Thank you for reading.
Love & Light
Amida
